Ok, tired of hearing me talk about running plans, travel plans and commuting scenarios? Ok me too, so a break from that today for two funny things that happened yesterday. The first one will be especially funny to my parents (I had to actually call my mom at work) and my in-laws (I still feel bad about my clumsiness and the red wine incident).
1) I got to my office around 10am yesterday morning, took one look at the two desks I use and realized that they had to be cleaned off as the only space on them was the area in front of the keyboard and the exact cutout shape of my laptop. Mostly just papers and so I was just throwing things away. When the surfaces were all cleaned off I wheeled around to head to the kitchen where some surface cleaner lives.
Ok, it should be noted that when I say office I just mean cubicle office. You know...all the walls are those fake walls just to separate you from the joker next to you. Ok, so I turn around quickly, and for some reason the garbage can was in the middle of the room. I promptly trip over that and go hurling into the fake cubicle wall that is parallel with the hallway. The "wall" since it's not a real wall, of course starts to tip over when I fall into it. I start going, "NO NO NO" just hoping that no one is in the office across the hall. Of course as the wall continues to fall, I can now see over it (because I'm falling with it) and see that yes in fact there is someone in that office, and she's looking my way expecting I'm guessing to see a crazy person come flying out of the office. So I continue to fall, all the way across the aisle, the fake wall bangs into her fake wall (I am now basically on top of the fake wall) & filing cabinet. Papers & wires start falling down. A girl from down the hall comes running over thinking someone got hurt. Oh no. It's just clumsy old' Leah. I was laughing so hard, and just wishing that someone who knew me had been there to see it as it would have gotten a big laugh as the above description does not do it justice.
2) Jason and I were in bed watching Homicide (Season 3...such a good show), when all of a sudden we hear something. We hear a cough in the hallway outside our bedroom. This wasn't a hahaha, ok you heard something. I mean we *really* heard something. The cough was followed by another noise in the kitchen. So we quickly stop the DVD and turn on the lights in the bedroom. I am at this point terrified. Thinking ok, this is it. This is how I am going to die, some crazy Ukrainian has gotten into my apartment and has been waiting for us to go to bed so he (or she, I'm not gender biased) can kill us....I *might* be a little dramatic.
So Jason stands in the doorway to our room, looking down the hallways. I whisper to him, "Jason there is a little pair of scissors in the bathroom, go get those". So Jason quickly and stealthily goes and gets those scissors. Mind you they are about 2 inches long...and here's Jason, walking really slowly into our dining room with his killer scissors (like what is he going to do if he does find someone?). He slowly gets all the lights turned on and searches the entire apartment. We think that maybe someone is in the entrance hallway where we keep our bikes stealing those, but we looked there and nothing there either. He checkes the kitchen, under the bed, through the closets. All clear. We decide that it must have just been something outside or some weird kind of echoing thing or whatever. Still...I'm terrified.
So we got back to bed, turn off the DVD, I'm just falling asleep and BANG, huge noise coming from the pantry. Jason at this point has gotten a real pair of scissors (I still want to know what we thought we were going to do with scissors at this point). He throws me the phone and says, "Just in case." He goes out there and realizes that the Triscuit crackers he had put away badly earlier had fallen. So it was all a bunch of random coincidences to terrify us before going to bed.
I just love the scene of Jason, Mr. 6'3" and his 2" beard trimming scissors. Awesome.
3 months ago