Monday, March 23, 2009

Well, that was unexpected

And, I might add, a little anti-climactic. Whenever I thought about finding out about a future son or daughter (or cool would that be?), I figured it'd be all jumping up and down and excited, like in the commercials. Instead, it was a lot of "wait, is that a line?" and "I definitely see a line, but I need you to keep peeing until it looks like the other one". And it wasn't that I wasn't excited because I didn't want it to be true, but rather because I was afraid it would go away.

Oh, but now, three faint lines later, I'm afraid. What's the first thing I do? Read a book? Let me just say, the expecting father books are pretty damn insulting. Yes, I get that I'm supposed to be involved in the pregnancy. Let me just put my beer down and I'll get right on it. Do the expectant mother books say "Hey, you know you can't just ignore the human growing in you stomach, right?" It's just quite insulting. It's every sitcom rolled into convenient book form (with 95% less funny and 500% more terror).

So now I'm just trying to figure out what best to do. I'm thinking I should either get the baby's room ready or maybe buy a stroller. I'm pretty sure I can't grow a human, so I need to find a way to make myself useful. I also have about 9 months to learn to use a power tool. I don't want to be that dad ("Mom, Dad's trying to drill again"). Also, I need to learn to swim. I saw this episode of Who's the Boss where Tony was participating in a Father/Son swim (with his nephew) and he totally couldn't swim and the kid was embarrassed and I don't want that for my kid.

So, I don't know. Luckily I have about 9 months to figure it out.

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